Wednesday
Nov172010
The renaissance of the undeep
Wednesday, November 17, 2010 at 12:09AM
Something's happened to me lately. Maybe just since I turned 30, maybe it's been happening for a few months or a few years. It's a series of symptoms that I fear might be connected.
These are them:
-I am unworried about how good of an Artist (pronounced ah-tiste) I am.
-I am enjoying pop music.
-I am unapologetically reading lowbrow fiction.
-I find it easy to kill time without being productive or feeling guilt.
It's my own personal renaissance. It's a decline of snobbery and a return to enjoyment. It is also, and this is the part that worries me just a little, an embracing of mediocrity?
I feel like I've had lots of posts along these lines in the past year or two, actually, now that I think about it. I've been so goddamn worried about Achieving Things and Becoming Great that I had been forgetting to Enjoy Life. Even though I have carefully constructed my life to be as enjoyable as possible. I have surrounded myself with people I adore. I am living in a wonderful house. I consciously fought for a day job that earned me enough money without demanding all of my time, and that I enjoy, and that doesn't begin until afternoon. And now I have one. Teaching math to kids is awesome. I'm engaged to the man of my dreams. And I keep looking around and being like, oh no! I'm reading this book all night instead of Sleeping or Getting Things Done! and then I'm like, wait, my life is awesome. I was saying all along that I wished I had more time to read for pleasure. No Immediate Action Required.
Is that...selfish? Now that my life is so great, maybe I should start feeling guilty about how not-great some other peoples' lives are.
Or...something. This seems really young to be entering retirement.
These are them:
-I am unworried about how good of an Artist (pronounced ah-tiste) I am.
-I am enjoying pop music.
-I am unapologetically reading lowbrow fiction.
-I find it easy to kill time without being productive or feeling guilt.
It's my own personal renaissance. It's a decline of snobbery and a return to enjoyment. It is also, and this is the part that worries me just a little, an embracing of mediocrity?
I feel like I've had lots of posts along these lines in the past year or two, actually, now that I think about it. I've been so goddamn worried about Achieving Things and Becoming Great that I had been forgetting to Enjoy Life. Even though I have carefully constructed my life to be as enjoyable as possible. I have surrounded myself with people I adore. I am living in a wonderful house. I consciously fought for a day job that earned me enough money without demanding all of my time, and that I enjoy, and that doesn't begin until afternoon. And now I have one. Teaching math to kids is awesome. I'm engaged to the man of my dreams. And I keep looking around and being like, oh no! I'm reading this book all night instead of Sleeping or Getting Things Done! and then I'm like, wait, my life is awesome. I was saying all along that I wished I had more time to read for pleasure. No Immediate Action Required.
Is that...selfish? Now that my life is so great, maybe I should start feeling guilty about how not-great some other peoples' lives are.
Or...something. This seems really young to be entering retirement.
Reader Comments (2)
I mostly just wanted to say hey. Just Enjoy Life. Don't worry about worrying about it. I think it's pretty awesome that you've gotten to the place where you are. And, I cannot wait to see you soon--we'll be in town on the 11th!
I would let that which has heart and has meaning be my compass. It sounds like you are going with that, which is good. But if you feel a need for a kick in the pants, you could watch Revolutionary Road. I don't think there should be any mistake in our mind -- the way of the mainstream is broken, and we can predict the outcome of complacency. Satisfaction yes, complacency no.