Monday
Jul202009
Look ma, three posts in two days!
Monday, July 20, 2009 at 06:41PM
One of my roommates is snoring loudly, so I decided that instead of trying to go to bed I'd post this poem I just found in my journal from months ago.
---
Public Restrooms
Walking in, I regard suspiciously
the seat & contents of the bowl.
So many asses.
Such an intimate
exchange of cells, of germs,
of life— here is where we are most private,
here is where we come the most
in contact with our neighbors,
strangers we’ll never speak to.
I carry them into my car on my skin,
smear them into my underwear when I settle
into the driver’s seat.
Drive to the hotel, where I
go to bed
The next room inches
from my head,
close enough to another sleeping stranger
to reach over & caress their hair
if only someone would remove
that flimsy wall between the rooms.
---
I don't think it's done. I have to do something radical with lines 6-9. I want the same juxtaposition of private space with public contact, but maybe worded less like a thesis and more like an image. Anybody?
---
Public Restrooms
Walking in, I regard suspiciously
the seat & contents of the bowl.
So many asses.
Such an intimate
exchange of cells, of germs,
of life— here is where we are most private,
here is where we come the most
in contact with our neighbors,
strangers we’ll never speak to.
I carry them into my car on my skin,
smear them into my underwear when I settle
into the driver’s seat.
Drive to the hotel, where I
go to bed
The next room inches
from my head,
close enough to another sleeping stranger
to reach over & caress their hair
if only someone would remove
that flimsy wall between the rooms.
---
I don't think it's done. I have to do something radical with lines 6-9. I want the same juxtaposition of private space with public contact, but maybe worded less like a thesis and more like an image. Anybody?
Reader Comments (2)
How about replacing lines 6-9 with
"I mingle with the neighbors"
Such an intimate
exchange of cells, of germs,
I mingle with the neighbors
I carry them into my car on my skin,
smear them into my underwear when I settle
It's not necessarily what's needed, but it's a vector to something good, maybe?
lines 4 to 9:
Such an intimate
exchange of cells, of germs,
of life— Genes mix,
mutations arise,
intertwine, subside, joined with
strangers we’ll never speak to.