Comments on: A Too-Honest Post That You Should Skip If You Want To Go On Liking Me, or, All Actors Are Insecure http://nebunele.com/blog/2009/04/05/a-too-honest-post-that-you-should-skip-if-you-want-to-go-on-liking-me-or-all-actors-are-insecure/ News about me that is of little interest to anyone except friends, family, and the occasional stalker Fri, 26 Mar 2010 05:27:24 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: Alissa http://nebunele.com/blog/2009/04/05/a-too-honest-post-that-you-should-skip-if-you-want-to-go-on-liking-me-or-all-actors-are-insecure/comment-page-1/#comment-39427 Alissa Wed, 08 Apr 2009 18:43:10 +0000 http://nebunele.com/blog/?p=202#comment-39427 Don't get me wrong; I *love* to surround myself with brilliant people! I, too, prefer being the one in the room with the most to learn. It's the fear that all those wonderful people sort of wish you weren't there that gets to me. I have snapped out of the funk, however, and life is good again. Forward motion fixes all. Come see the show! It opens April 24! It's good! Don’t get me wrong; I *love* to surround myself with brilliant people! I, too, prefer being the one in the room with the most to learn.

It’s the fear that all those wonderful people sort of wish you weren’t there that gets to me.

I have snapped out of the funk, however, and life is good again. Forward motion fixes all. Come see the show! It opens April 24! It’s good!

]]> By: Eric Lippert http://nebunele.com/blog/2009/04/05/a-too-honest-post-that-you-should-skip-if-you-want-to-go-on-liking-me-or-all-actors-are-insecure/comment-page-1/#comment-39426 Eric Lippert Mon, 06 Apr 2009 14:58:08 +0000 http://nebunele.com/blog/?p=202#comment-39426 I do not personally get Impostor Syndrome (yet!) thought I have known many people who do, so you're not alone there. But my take on your post is a bit different. I have been designing and implementing programming languages professionally for over twelve years; I too ought to be good at it by now. One of the best things about this job is that I get to spend four to six hours a week in design meetings where I am CLEARLY the weakest link. That is NOT me getting Impostor Syndrome. There's nothing subjective about it, it's just a fact. I get to have meetings weekly with people who have made major impacts on the programming language community, who have their own wikipedia pages, who have advanced degrees, who have been at this for their entire professional lives and are at the top of their game. Being the dumb guy in the room means that I have an opportunity to learn from the greats, and I cherish that opportunity. Now, I do not believe for a moment that you are the weakest link in the writing room or on stage. I am quite sure that you hold your own, that your feelings of being a fraud are subjective, and are not shared by your colleagues. (Many of whom probably feel like you're the genius and they're the fraud some days.) But suppose just for the sake of argument that you are the weakest playwrite in the room. That's awesome! In that scenario, you get to be surrounded by people who are better than you, which means you get to learn. I enjoy being the worst in the room at something. I love being surrounded by smarter people, better sailors, more talented pianists, whatever. They're such interesting people and it's a privilege to be among them. I do not personally get Impostor Syndrome (yet!) thought I have known many people who do, so you’re not alone there. But my take on your post is a bit different.

I have been designing and implementing programming languages professionally for over twelve years; I too ought to be good at it by now.

One of the best things about this job is that I get to spend four to six hours a week in design meetings where I am CLEARLY the weakest link. That is NOT me getting Impostor Syndrome. There’s nothing subjective about it, it’s just a fact. I get to have meetings weekly with people who have made major impacts on the programming language community, who have their own wikipedia pages, who have advanced degrees, who have been at this for their entire professional lives and are at the top of their game.

Being the dumb guy in the room means that I have an opportunity to learn from the greats, and I cherish that opportunity.

Now, I do not believe for a moment that you are the weakest link in the writing room or on stage. I am quite sure that you hold your own, that your feelings of being a fraud are subjective, and are not shared by your colleagues. (Many of whom probably feel like you’re the genius and they’re the fraud some days.)

But suppose just for the sake of argument that you are the weakest playwrite in the room. That’s awesome! In that scenario, you get to be surrounded by people who are better than you, which means you get to learn.

I enjoy being the worst in the room at something. I love being surrounded by smarter people, better sailors, more talented pianists, whatever. They’re such interesting people and it’s a privilege to be among them.

]]> By: Toby http://nebunele.com/blog/2009/04/05/a-too-honest-post-that-you-should-skip-if-you-want-to-go-on-liking-me-or-all-actors-are-insecure/comment-page-1/#comment-39425 Toby Sun, 05 Apr 2009 22:08:55 +0000 http://nebunele.com/blog/?p=202#comment-39425 Alissa, a lot of what you're feeling about your acting, I feel about my writing. I'm often afraid to put an idea to words because I don't think anyone else will like it, or it will be too similar to something already written. Even if I like my work, I'm afraid it will be pretentious, or self-serving, or complacent. And I usually see my failures much more harshly than anyone else does. You're not alone. Alissa, a lot of what you’re feeling about your acting, I feel about my writing. I’m often afraid to put an idea to words because I don’t think anyone else will like it, or it will be too similar to something already written. Even if I like my work, I’m afraid it will be pretentious, or self-serving, or complacent. And I usually see my failures much more harshly than anyone else does. You’re not alone.

]]> By: Brendan http://nebunele.com/blog/2009/04/05/a-too-honest-post-that-you-should-skip-if-you-want-to-go-on-liking-me-or-all-actors-are-insecure/comment-page-1/#comment-39424 Brendan Sun, 05 Apr 2009 18:41:16 +0000 http://nebunele.com/blog/?p=202#comment-39424 The most interesting thing for me about this feeling seems to be that it comes and goes without apparent regard for how well the project is going. I can be in a situation where from any external viewpoint, one would think that the show had all the marks of success, but in the moments of insecurity, I would be sure that all this was due to the other performers' achievements, and I was just holding people back. Conversely, I can have had a terrible rehearsal, in which lines, blocking and the ability to pretend all seem to have abandoned me, and walk away from it knowing I just had a bad day and tomorrow will be awesome. Theatre is a lot like a relationship. Emotional insecurity is just a symptom of being emotionally invested. (And while that's not ideal in either, I think it practically inevitable.) The most interesting thing for me about this feeling seems to be that it comes and goes without apparent regard for how well the project is going. I can be in a situation where from any external viewpoint, one would think that the show had all the marks of success, but in the moments of insecurity, I would be sure that all this was due to the other performers’ achievements, and I was just holding people back. Conversely, I can have had a terrible rehearsal, in which lines, blocking and the ability to pretend all seem to have abandoned me, and walk away from it knowing I just had a bad day and tomorrow will be awesome. Theatre is a lot like a relationship. Emotional insecurity is just a symptom of being emotionally invested. (And while that’s not ideal in either, I think it practically inevitable.)

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